i think my mom watched the whole time
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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