Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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