names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
