I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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