That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
