I can text with my tongue
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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