Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
