the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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