toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
