I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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