Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
