I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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