are you still at the devil's house?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
