I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
