I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
