Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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