Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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