Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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