Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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