its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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