I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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