i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
