This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize