I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize