So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
