Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
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you told grandpa to call you daddy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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