we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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