I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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