Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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