Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
