it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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