He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
