Sry I called you an 8
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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