smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you had me at cake vodka
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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