Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
