Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
