we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
