dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
