margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
