And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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