I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
