I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
