you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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