I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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