i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
