Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize