The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Less talking, more tequila
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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