Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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