ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
