We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
