it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
