I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
