My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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