Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
