So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
