I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
