my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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