How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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