its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
