quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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