Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
