All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
