Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Randomize